Can anyone lend me ten billion quid?
Why d'you look so glum? Was it something I did?
So the breaking news this week is that
the bankers have gone and broken everything again. Or rather, we're
reassessing the damage that they did when they broke everything
before. Although it's old news, it looked for about five seconds like
the government might have decided to actually do something about it.
Turns out they haven't. No surprises there.
Meanwhile, back in the world of real
work for ordinary pay......well, there isn't any, as any new graduate
this year will miserably inform you. I recently read this Independent article which gets the facts mostly right,
though quite what Ms Heawood's friends' cooker has to do with the
price of bananas I'm at rather a loss to explain. My problem with the
piece has less to do with her actual advice (“Stop moaning”,
which is generally very good advice) and more to do
with its disconcertingly cynical tone. It's true that talking about
how you expected the world of work to be like Sex and the City
isn't likely to win you points with anyone (though again, where she
got this material from, I couldn't begin to imagine – S&tC
is, or rather was, aimed at women who are now in their
thirties and forties, not my generation, who were just kids when it
was aired), and it's true that wallowing in your newly realised
unemployability is only going to make you feel worse yourself, rather
than changing anything. However, there's a whole world of difference
between making a legitimate complaint while still trying to find
work, and just plain moping around. To go back
to my first point, if the government weren't busy spending
billions on bailing out banks and giving tax breaks to other big
companies, they might actually have a bit of money left to invest in
all the young people, many of whom are likely to more than make it
back. Here's what Kim Newman has to say on the subject:
When I graduated in 1980, I was able to move to London (well, near London) and live in a bedsit for three years thanks to benefits. Then, after doing a lot of unpaid work while on the dole, I started supporting myself as a freelance writer. Now, most years, I pay more in tax than I received in state hand-outs during that period - and I've covered my student grant many times over too. Under the system David Cameron wants, where those under twenty-five aren't eligible for housing benefits, I'd never have been able to leave my parents' home in Somerset and would have remained unemployed and unemployable to the present day. So, the kind of career I have is now pretty much barred to those without rich parents ... maybe if the Prime Minister just began all his speeches with 'fuck you, poor people' it would end any confusion as to what kind of big society he wants.
If we don't talk about this, then
certainly nothing's going to be done about it. Like Ms Heawood's
friends, if we don't speak up, we might as well all take to the good
life, because the farming practice might well come in handy for the
day when the country reverts back to the feudal system. Heawood
utterly fails to make the distinction between constructive criticism
and the kind of useless cynicism that annoys her which is (somewhat
understandably) increasingly taking hold of young people. Funnily
enough though, as far as I can see, the latter is much more akin to
her own outlook. Heawood's attitude is one of (as my mother would
say) “put up and shut up”: basically, we can't win, so we
shouldn't even try. Just get used to it, kids!
Received wisdom at the moment seems to
be that students just aren't willing to pull their weight, but there
are a whole host of general and particular circumstances which are
affecting people's chances of finding work, many of which aren't
solely to do with the number of jobs available in the country in general. The
first is the (apparently surprising, to some people) fact that not
everyone lives in London. I'm not going to dispute Londoners' firm
belief that the whole world revolves around their precious little
city here – I've lived there long enough now to know better, and
besides, at the very least it pretty much has been the centre of the
universe in the past, and it's still the only place to be if you're
young and looking for interesting work. Unfortunately, current London
accommodation prices, coupled with David Cameron's decision that
under-25s don't deserve any help with housing, means that those of us
who don't have parents living in and around the city (i.e. the vast
majority of us), simply cannot afford to live in the capital and work
unpaid. But nobody wants to pay you if they can get you for free, and
this “free labour market” is becoming increasingly competitive. I
studied for my degree at a major London university, but as soon as I
finished my course, I gave up my flat there. I had to. I have about
enough money left in my current account for one month's rent at
ordinary London prices (let alone at the skyrocketing Olympic period
rates). I could break into my savings (yes reader, I am a student who
has managed to save money, so don't let anybody tell you we're all
careless spendthrifts), but then I'm left with nothing to fall back on: despite my
present situation, as the managers of a very small, seasonal,
business, and with my much younger sister still at school, my parents
have even less disposable income than I do. Besides which, even the
savings I have wouldn't get me very far in London: once you've added
up crazy rent prices, crazy transport prices and all the bills, I'd
probably manage for about two or three months max. And I may as well
give up all hope of ever owning anything or ever being out of debt,
ever. It's bleak and alien world for someone with a working class
background like mine, where you grow up believing that debt is the
devil, and that it's much better to have something you can call your
own, however inadequate, than nothing. Renting has always felt
frighteningly insecure to me, and not without reason: I have plenty
of friends who've been kicked out of their flats by dodgy landlords
who ought to be sued. But hey, we're students, we don't matter. And of course, Grant Shapps says it's unnecessary to introduce stricter regulations for private landlords, and Mr Shapps is an honourable man....
Fundamentally, I'm not opposed to the
idea of internships or, as we used to more honestly call them back in
the day, work experience placements (giving flashy names to rubbish
things just to make them seem more desirable is something that really
irks me). I completed a fantastic one myself last summer with the
BBC, which ended in real paid work for me. Unfortunately, I stopped
working there once my third year of study started. Part of me is
already starting to feel this was a mistake, and I'm sure many other
people in my situation would think so too. But I never wanted to work
while I was studying, and I certainly didn't want to give up on my
degree half way through it, even if it was an arts degree (which,
incidentally, haven't always been useless, as any cursory glance at
the academic histories of our MPs and leaders will show you). Going
to university was, for me, a major investment, so I wanted to work
hard at it and make it count for something. It paid off – I came
out with a first. I'm still not convinced, however, that this makes
me any more employable than the next person with a 2.1 or a 2.2 or
even a third, since all us students are lazy and self-important,
right? The fact that I've already done one unpaid placement with the
BBC recently means that I cannot do another one until a full
twelve months is up. And really, that's as it should be. This is
surely an anti-exploitation rule. I shouldn't have to work unpaid
again, and I can't really afford to, but if I don't manage to more or
less get my old job back, I will probably have to in order to open up my options.
Still, I tend to look on the bright
side of things. As long as I can stay at home and not have to pay
rent, I'm happy to carry on working for nothing with other companies
if needs be. And there are plenty of people out there who just don't have that luxury. A friend of mine made the decision aged 16 to stay behind when her
family moved away, and, without going into details, if she returned
to them now, she'd be in extreme danger.
But of course, she's not entitled to any help with housing, because
David Cameron thinks she should still be living with her parents, and
David Cameron is an honourable man.... Fortunately for her, she's
managed to find a live-in job, but if she hadn't, I really don't know
what she'd do.
Now, I don't know about you, but I'd
say that all this put together constitutes legitimate cause for
complaint, and depending on how you go about it, raising your voice
about it can be a lot more worthwhile than arbitrary and ineffective moaning.
That said, of all the people that I know, the friend I mentioned
above is perhaps the least likely person in the world to openly
complain about anything. In any case, I think Ms Heawood is wrong. We shouldn't stop moaning. We should just be careful about how we go about it.
In other, much more exciting news,
CERN has announced that it has finally discovered the all-elusive
Higgs Boson, four years after the completion of the LHC in Geneva (or
fourteen years since work on the machine began). It's a terrifically
exciting time for all of us (including those who went on to become
arts students) who got caught up in the big hoo-hah the first time
the machine got switched on. I suppose this is probably going to be
one of those things that ages us fairly soon. Ehy, when ah were a
sixth-former.... .Man, they won't even have sixth-form soon, will
they? Well anyway, when I was in sixth form, we had celebratory cake and LHC t-shirts and all
sorts. Well, to be fair, we did have celebratory cake for just about
everything, even when there wasn't anything better to celebrate than
that our English teacher let us bring cake into lessons. My little
brother who's a physicist has been very annoyed that all the banking
stuff has completely taken over the news, relegating such a significant scientific breakthrough to relative obscurity. While beating the banking scandals may
well be classed as more in the public interest than finding out cool stuff about particles, I really can't help
but agree with him. Let's have a good news story for once, shall we?
So many millions were invested in the banks and look what happened.
Meanwhile, so many millions were invested in CERN and the LHC project
that we should all be looking up and taking notice now it's coming to
fruition. It's great that this has happened, isn't it? It's hardly
any wonder that so few people do amazing things when they've always
got so little recognition for it. What with the sort of mind-numbing
crud people sit down to watch on television these days, you're more
likely to get rich and famous (or at least to get a bit of cash on
the back of being slightly famous) by behaving like a complete ass than for doing something worthwhile. I
almost don't blame the bankers for thinking it's acceptable to be stupid and reckless.
Here's an idea: maybe if we
stopped giving all our time and money and attention to the idiots who
are going to waste it, we could start taking heed of all the really,
truly wonderful things that human beings are capable of. We might end
up happier. We might end up more confident and ambitious. Who knows,
we might even manage to stop the tide of cynicism that's turning us
into a nation of Neil from the Young Oneseseses. I for one say we can do better than this. There is surely a point at which every person
who goes on to do something great realises that the “great” men
and women who went before them were really just ordinary people like
them. By the same token, if the people you look up to are all morons,
you're not going to have a whole lot of faith in your own power to
succeed. Let's set
the bar higher. I haven't given up yet, and neither should you.
Finally, just in case you
hadn't already guessed, I'd like to add that I honestly don't think
there's any shame
in doing an arts degree. Have some more words of wisdom from Mr
Newman:
I heard Sir Christopher Frayling on Radio 4 this morning making the valid point that the arts/culture/design/music/whatever sector is only a percentage point or so less lucrative to the UK economy than the financial/banking one. Yet the government bends over backwards to placate and protect 'the City' while going out of its way not to support, encourage or foster us poncy wasters whose doodles and scribbles and twangings earn about the same amount. I don't know any potters who bank in the Channel Islands to avoid tax and can't think of any musicians who've brought about a recession.
Proud to be a literature graduate. (y)
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